There Are No Quick Fixes (And That Can Be Hard to Sit With)

We live in a world that loves quick fixes.

Quick results. Quick transformations. Quick solutions to complex problems.

But when it comes to eating disorders, anxiety, school struggles or any challenge that has developed over time, change doesn’t work like that.

And this is often one of the hardest parts for both young people and the parents and carers supporting them.

Why It Feels So Urgent

When you’re watching someone you love struggle, it’s incredibly hard to sit back and wait.

You want relief for them. You want things to feel easier. You want to know what you're doing is actually helping.

So it makes sense that, a few sessions into therapy, questions start to arise:

“Is this working?” “Should we be seeing more change by now?” “Do we need to try something else?”

These are not unreasonable questions. They come from care, concern, and often a sense of urgency.

But recovery doesn’t respond well to urgency.

Change Takes Time, Even When We Wish It Didn’t!

Most of the young people I work with haven’t been struggling for just a few weeks.

Their relationship with food, their anxiety, their patterns around avoidance or control, these have often been building for months, sometimes years.

So expecting meaningful change after 1–2 sessions isn’t realistic and more importantly, it’s not fair on them.

Real change takes:

• Time: to understand what’s going on beneath the surface

• Consistency: showing up, even when it’s hard

• Repetition: practising new ways of responding, over and over

• Safety: feeling supported enough for the nervous system to tolerate change

The Temptation to Change Course

When progress feels slow, it’s very natural to start looking elsewhere.

To seek more advice, to wonder if someone else might have the “missing piece.” To consider changing clinicians in the hope of faster results.

And sometimes, a change is needed.

But often, what I see is this:

Switching too quickly can interrupt the process that is just beginning to build.

Because therapy is not just about strategies, it's about relationship, trust and safety and those things take time to develop.

When that relationship is reset again and again, it can make it harder for real progress to take hold.

What Actually Matters

The most important factor isn’t finding the “perfect” clinician with the fastest results.

It’s finding someone you and your young person can:

• Connect with

• Feel understood by

• Trust enough to stay with, even when things feel slow

From there, it’s about giving the work enough time to unfold.

Because progress doesn’t always look the way people expect.

Progress might look like:

• Staying at the table a little longer

• Trying a food that was previously avoided

• Less distress around meals (even if it’s still there)

• Getting to one class instead of none

• Saying something instead of shutting down

These are not small things, they are the early signs of change and

Small Steps Lead to Big Change

A Final Thought for Parents and Carers

If you’re in this space supporting a young person through something that feels hard, slow, or uncertain, it’s okay to feel impatient at times.

It’s okay to question things and to want more.

But alongside that, there is real value in:

• Staying the course

• Trusting the process

• Allowing time for change to build

Because the work that creates lasting recovery is rarely quick.

But it is worth staying for!